Our 5 top regrets in life... these seem to apply to walking the Camino

What are the top 5 regrets people admit?

You may be surprised...

3/22/2011 7:48:00 AM CFRB AM 1010

Today on 'Moore in the Morning' John received an email with an article written by palliative care nurse Bonnie Ware about the top 5 regrets her patients admitted on their death beds...
Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed
By Bonnie Ware(who worked for years nursing the dying)

 

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle. 

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships. 

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.

 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?

The Movie - The Way

Martin Sheen on the divine experience he shared with son Emilio Estevez on set of new film

Apr 17 2011 John Millar, Sunday Mail

martin sheen in the way Image 1

AFTER surviving a heart attack during the shooting of Vietnam war movie Apocalypse Now in the Philippines, Martin Sheen knows that miracles can happen.
And now, after making their latest film together, his son Emilio Estevez, of St Elmo's Fire and Young Guns fame, is also a believer.
The father and son teamed up on screen for the fourth time in their careers for the emotional story The Way.
It's about a grieving father completing his dead son's 500-mile trek along the Camino de Santiago de Compostela - a pilgrimage across the Pyrenees walked by thousands each year.
The two Hollywood stars were amazed by a series of seemingly miraculous events which occurred during filming in the Galicia region of Spain.
"I believe in miracles a lot more now," says 48-year-old Estevez, who also wrote and directed The Way. "And I have taken the word 'coincidence' out of my vocabulary. I believe that there is divine intervention.
"Miracles happened on a daily basis and it got to the point where the crew were true believers too. If they didn't have any spirituality going into this, they did have by the end.
"Lives changed on this film. My son Taylor met his wife on the Camino and they now live in Burgos, in northern Spain.
"Other relationships were also forged by crew members. One said she met the man of her dreams there and got married.
"Also, it only rained twice in a 40-day period in an area famous for getting rain almost every day. It was definitely providential."
But the most miraculous occurrence was being granted permission to film a crucial sequence inside the ancient cathedral of Santiago de Compostela - the ancient church reputed to be the burial place of St James, one of Jesus's apostles.
Initially, church authorities indicated that no filming could be done inside the cathedral - and it turned out that Brazilian World Cup star striker Ronaldinho was to blame.
A few years ago, Ronaldinho was making a TV commercial outside the cathedral and accidentally kicked a ball against a 300-year-old stained glass window and shattered it.
"After that, they decided no other film crews would get access," said Estevez.
"I was rewriting the script to use another church but the entire crew prayed that they might change their mind.
"Just 48 hours before arriving in Santiago, we were granted permission to go into the cathedral and shoot the scene."
Sheen smiles at the memory of that magical moment.
"You begin to understand that all our lives really are miracles," he said.
The 70-year-old star - who starred as John F Kennedy in the Kennedy TV miniseries and as fictional US President Josiah Bartlet in The West Wing - added that making The Way was a dream come true.
The veteran actor was born Ramon Gerardo Antonio Estevez and his paternal roots are in the Galician region.
"My father, Francisco, was from Galicia and I grew up hearing about this mysterious place Santiago de Compostela," he said.
"As I got involved in my career and raising a family, I almost forgot about it.
"Then, in the summer of 2003, I focused on going to Santiago because I desperately wanted to walk the Camino."
The loss of a loved one also played a vital part in Sheen returning to his roots.
"My brother Alphonso, who I grew up with, died. I adored him and we were called 'The Irish twins'," he said.
"He was a year-and-a-half ahead of me in school and had prepared the way for me. There were 10 children in our family and when Alphonso died, there were only six left.
"A few years ago, I said to them all, 'Enough funerals. Let's gather in Ireland on May 26, 2003, in County Tipperary where our mother was born 100 years to the day.'
"So we met and had a great celebration. We had a Mass in the church where my grandfather had done the roofing. He was a master slater and is buried in a nearby graveyard.
"Then I invited everyone to go on the Camino with me - and two people showed up.
"They were my oldest friend, Matt Clarke, who plays the part of a priest in the film, and Emilio's son Taylor, who was 19 at the time."
On the trip to northern Spain, Sheen discovered he didn't have enough time to walk the Camino, as it normally takes between four and six weeks.
He said: "I only had three weeks' holiday left before starting back on The West Wing, so I thought about doing the journey on horseback or by bicycle - which many pilgrims do. But neither way worked out, so we rented a car and drove it."
As a result of that trip, Sheen became passionate about making a movie and suggested it to Emilio, who began working on a script.
"He wrote the part for me," says the proud father. "If this had been a big Hollywood studio film, it's unlikely I would have got the role. There are so many big stars who would have wanted a part like this, so when Emilio handed me this role, it was a great gift.
"Making The Way was one of the great experiences I've had. Emilio is such a dear man. He's the only director I've ever worked with who says, 'Action, please, and cut, please, thank you.' He is so polite - actors adore him."
But it's a mutual appreciation society as Estevez adores his dad.
"I consider it a privilege and an honour to work with my father," he said.
"For every great film like Badlands or Apocalypse Now he made, there were 20 bad movies - because he had a family to feed.
"For me to be able to work with him was an opportunity to say I know the sacrifices he made as a father and an actor. This was my way of paying him back."
Sheen and his wife, Jean, have four children - Emilio, Ramon, Renee and the notorious Charlie, whose battles with his own personal demons have been grabbing headlines recently.
Sheen has had his own fights with addiction but has been sober for more than 20 years.
He is passionate about his family, so the scene in the film where he identifies his dead son in a foreign morgue was particularly emotional for him.
He said: "It's a stunning moment. Emilio chose to be in the body bag and I didn't know he was going to be there, so that is what I'm reacting to.
"It's every parent's worst fear that you will bury a child. How do you cope with that?
"That is our whole story - it's a fatherand-son journey. The father begins thinking he's completing the journey for his son and gradually realises he's doing it for himself. He realises that he hasn't opened up his heart to the world."
The Way is released on May 13. (In Europe release date is September for North America)

This is our first arrow after leaving the subway The Beach walk and all the way to Santiago Villa do Conde

The Community of Pilgrims

Well I have had an exhilirating day planning for Del Norte.  Thanks to the Forum pilgrims and their ability to respond to just about any question one might have, I am beginning to feel a sense of relief about Del Norte.  Today I started with a post from 2004 if you can believe it.  An e-mail from a Pilgrim to a friend outlined her journey day by day.  This left many questions in my mind, particularly about, so what's happened in the passing years.

Personal messages came flowing in from recent Del Norte pilgrims and a post or two on the forum.  I still have work to do but the most amazing thing is that thanks to my previous Camino experiences, I have a great deal of faith that I need not sweat this.  It appears that in the passage of time, northern Spain has released a bunch of material about Del Norte, even though it seems at this point only to be available in northern Spain.  So I get it. I have to go there to find my way.

Taking leaps of faith based on the experience of life travellers is how we learn.  We make it most times and sometimes we need to make our own lesson.  I love being older.  I love that being older has brought me to a point of trust and of no or little fear.  I love that I can "face my fear and do it anyway" as some author put it.  Within reason, I might ad.

Some one on the Forum has as her ongoing message at the bottom of her posts...live your life!  Ya gotta love it!

Planning ain't so easy!

So Camino babies and veterans, I have spent the morning dissecting a website with the Del Norte info.

Butterflies have returned to my tummy as I look over the challenges of this route.  Big hills, lots of them.  Beautiful vistas, lots of them.  Platas (beaches) lots of them. Wow, I am pretty excited.

Someone on the Forum has been asking where the energy lines are on the Camino, that is where she wants to be.   I say they start in your planning room at home.  The energy that has taken me over is all about thinking of the wonderful parts of the world I have never seen before.  My angels will be with me and of course, so will all of you, I know it.

So far my plan is 2 days in Barcelona and then train to Irun.  So really it will be day 4 before I start the walk.  Every step of the way will unfold forgotten sences, new scenery and new challenges.   That is one of the beautiful things about walking.  The mind is focused.  The body is ready.  The spirit expands because when we walk we are "in the zone" of mother nature. Every time I walk the dogs, every day is different even though I have walked the paths so many times.  

We are part of the environment, we are not separate from it.   Walking on the Mother's belly, day in and day out is a primitive activity that can bring us back to her and to her energy.  As I said the other day to some one, travel light, life is easier that way.

Nameste

Oh dear...

Well I have done it now.  I opened up a general invitation to people in my hiking club regarding walking this year in Spain.  Well guess what, now I don't want to walk with people I don't really know from here and I have to take back my invite.

Meeting people on the Way who you are really drawn to is one of the great gifts of the Camino.  The even greater gift is when you stay together for all, or a at least a long part of the journey.  Right Anne?   When you meet people there you know almost immediately who you will share your mutual respect with.  When the feeling isn't there, one moves on. 

Well, as the song says, I just can't get the feeling.  This person has walked the Frances in 2004 and really only has complained about it.  She is not fond of the Albergues and is used to travelling in style.   I find this out now, thanks to the forces that be and not later.

So now I have to take my own advise and put an end to this unease by doing something about it.  My instinct tells me that the right thing to do is walk alone or at least start off that way on this Camino.
Planning my third camino begins now, I have to take this action.

Love and light all

The Forum and "Radiation Levels in Europe"

For those of you who read the Forum Santiago de Compostela Forum that is,  you know that there is a great concern and lots of back and forth posts going on about the Radiation Levels in Europe due to the quake in Japan. 

Brother Davide put it to rest for me when he basically said, All is well.  He talked about all the hype that media has spread over the years about one potential disaster or another and he said,  All is Well.

So I posted back with my usual rant...

Thanks Brother David, I agree with you, it is what it is and all is well. One real life lesson I gained on the CF in 2009 is that I came to understand the uselessness (is that a word) of worry. Seriously, life is so much more simple when worry flies out the window. If there is nothing that I can do to change a "possible" outcome of an event or such, then I drop the thought. It helps to make a decision and go with it. Yes, gathering information is important but if I know where I already stand on a topic then I base my decision on where I stand on the topic.

Looking forward to my next Camino in July across Del Norte.

Love and light (without harmfull levels of radiation) .. check out the cartoon below